We are looking for a highly motivated person who has a track record of leading, motivating and managing large-scale enterprises to fill the office of President of the United States. This position will be available soon, and we are an equal opportunity employer.
Qualifications: A visionary, well educated individual that is highly motivated to protect and defend the country, its inhabitants, and its Constitution. Must have charisma, great leadership ability, and be adept at dealing with unforeseen challenges. This person will be responsible for developing, communicating, and executing a plan for achieving optimal outcomes to seemingly intractable problems that this nation faces on all fronts. A special focus shall be on establishing domestic tranquility and security of the citizens, and assisting Congress to reestablish its proper role as a functional branch of government.
Further, the candidate must demonstrate independence from special interest groups, including organized social, criminal, or religious entities. A background in progressively successful management of large-scale military, business, or academic organizations is especially sought.
No special educational certificates are required for a candidate with an outstanding track record, and no disclosures of personal matters beyond criminal and security background information will be necessary. However, honesty, a dedication to truth, forthrightness, and skill in playing Chess or Poker are mandatory requirements. Lawyers need not apply.
In particular, the candidate will have the ability to frequently communicate situations, outcomes, and choices clearly to the population, and motivate popular action when required. He or She shall identify for the people those problems that are intractable at present or those that require further study, and those that are amenable to near-term solution. The successful candidate will then present a detailed action plan with timelines to the people within 60 days of assuming office.
Candidates who are self-sufficient and agree to forego salary, retirement, health, and other special benefits will be given special consideration.
Maybe E.T. or better Paul !
Tiger Woods would spend more time at the oval office!
Hahaha! I suppose my ideal candidate is right up there with Superman or Don Quixote!