Stoned Rabbits in Utah

The DEA (Federal Drug Enforcement) is warning Utah residents that if the state legalizes Marijuana, there is a huge risk of the local desert Jack rabbit population becoming terrifying animal junkies. We were warned that there is a no more dangerous wildlife encounter than a stoned rabbit with the munchies.

Well, Utah citizens are not a stupid people; we have evolved a healthy disrespect of the federal government ever since they invaded the Utah territory and started a brutal war with the immigrant Mormons that fled to the region after being persecuted in New York, Illinois, and Missouri (where they finally gave up on the USA and set off for the wilderness of the wild west to practice their religious beliefs, domesticate the Native Americans in the region, and muck about with the practice of plural marriage). And, in the Tooele valley west of Salt Lake City, they started a thriving Hemp industry, but being simple folks, they made cordage and rope out of the stuff.

So, we know all about growing Marijuana. We have also learned that the Mexican drug gangs use our seven national parks to grow the illegal stuff, and in the process trash the place. Every year, hunters and hikers come across these grow patches, as do the deer, Pronghorn (antelope), wild burros, wild horses, Big Horn Sheep etc. Now, I have spent a lot of time in these wilderness areas and have never seen a herd of stoned deer, or other of the above –mentioned ruminants sitting on their haunches, dreamy-eyed. Nor have I seen any stoned and dangerous rabbits, although they were anticipated to exist by the Monty Python players. Check this out:

My own personal opinion is that this warning by the Feds is due in part to a fear that the new NSA spy operation south of Salt Lake City might be compromised if the stuff is legalized, with bad behavior on the part of its employees. I mean, enough pressure is already on these folks to take multiple wives, and ‘Get it on’; and if you add Pot to the mix, they will engage in unauthorized debauchery. I am an expert on the subject of debauchery, having made the mistake of befriending this woman: